– By William Cooper

I was pretty blasé about the darkness and the night until a singular momentous event in a parking lot in Morgantown, West Virginia. As I sat there after a long drive, getting ready to go inside and greet my friends, a mountain lion walked in front of my car, gave me a sidelong glance and then slowly crept into the bushes. I’d still be in that car now were it not for my need to urinate. What is the line between fear and bodily evacuation, you ask? Make sure you can run before your bladder gives out is the answer.

I was lucky that night in both my ninja-like speed and my iron urethra.

But this is not that story. This is the story of two sleepy guys with no power outs who would be fat and juicy targets for any large predatory cat. Yes, I realize I just brought it back to the mountain lion, but I’m a bit freaked out now. For all I know, that thing has followed me waiting for JUST the right moment. I’ll let it go now, I promise.

Anymeow, the reoccurring theme of this episode is darkness. We hope you enjoy it, if you can see it. Listen with a nightlight. You’ll thank me later.

In this episode, we fight off sleep by delving into some dark areas at the edge of the map. After some late night galumphing, William discovers a possible intruder and he and his wife find that they have very different views on how to resolve the situation. We discuss security and the effectiveness of flashing criminals your naughty bits as a means of determent. Scott, on the other hand, is busy serving other people’s agendas from dawn to dusk while mulling over how to avoid becoming physiologically damaged by any and all levels of parenting quality. Somebody needs some ShornTime™, stat! Then it’s back into the darkness as William is obligated to have a “unique dining experience” by dim candlelight with a GPS-tagged wait staff, some blunt instruments and some questionable traditions. We venture into the strange, shadowy past of bands who make movies, save theme parks, and star in video games, struggle with our own relevant knowledge of music, and then quickly turn to horror as a last resort. Yes, it’s Five Nights at Freddie’s and the FNAF fan music, which brings us murderous robot bears, dubious advice for both today’s youth and the impressionable William and a visit from some old friends. William is a delicate flower. Scott is already asleep. Get listening before the sun comes up!

Links:
Being a Good Parent will Physiologically Destroy You
Eyebrow Fashion Trends
HELP! – The Beatles
Kiss meets the Phantom of the Park
Journey video game (1983)
Die In a Fire (feat. EileMonty & Orko) The Living Tombstone Die In a Fire – Single
It’s Been So Long The Living Tombstone It’s Been So Long – Single
Our Little Horror Story Aviators Flying Under the Radar: The Singles
You Kill Me with Silence Duran Duran Paper Gods

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